FROM: Terry Lynch@aol.com; POB 241035; Montgomery, AL 36124-1035
Phone: (334) 277-3582 voice/fax

DATE:  March 31, 1998 

TO:  Letter to the Editor      WORD COUNT: 200

REF: End Scandal With Intern Beauty Contest

With all the media interest in President Clinton's oral office 
escapades, I think we should have an intern beauty contest.  The 
contestants would be judged on huggability, gropability, 
gulpability and gullibility.

Preliminaries would be held upon the White House lawn and 
President Clinton would be the judge.  The media could watch and 
let all America exercise their unalienable right as voyeurs and 
gossip mongers.  The President would hug each contestant, kiss 
them on the cheek or lips, pat them on the fanny and squeeze 
their breasts.  Then finalist would be invited into the oral 
office for the big test.

Upon leaving the oral office each finalist would be told to lie 
about what happened.  They would all receive letters of 
recommendation and be referred to the Pentagon for high paying 
job interviews.  The winner would be the intern who tells the 
biggest lie and is assigned the largest number of investigators 
by Kenneth Starr.

Yes, I'm sick of all the White House oral office scandal and can  
not really take it seriously anymore.  Who cares what President 
Clinton does behind closed doors?  Why not just get it all out 
into the open by having an intern beauty contest!  The media 
would eat it up as would the American public.  President 
Clinton's approval rating would soar to an all time high.

Finally there would be an end to the wild expenditure of tax 
payer money squandered by special prosecutors Ken Starr!  Of 
course the public would not be satisfied and would cry out for an 
encore performance.  Then next year's interns could lay bare 
and unveil their total babbling attributes by debuting in
itsy-bitsy, tiny weeny, yellow poky-dotted bikinis!


Sincerely,
TerryLynch@aol.com
Montgomery