FROM: Terry Lynch@aol.com; POB 241035; Montgomery, AL 36124-1035 
Phone: (334) 272-4217 voice  (334) 277-3582 fax via arrangement

DATE:  July 13, 1998 

TO:  Letter to the Editor      

SUBJECT:  The Blessing of Tallassee Belle

Do I feel blessed?  That question was asked recently by a 
gentlemen from Tallassee.  Blessed how?  Blessed in what respect?

I once knew a girl from Tallassee.  She was quite pretty, a real 
southern belle.  She was well blessed by her "creator" with 
bright blond hair, blue eyes and a Marilyn Monroe hourglass 
figure that would knock your socks off!  Except for her head she 
was the spitting imaged of Dolly Parton.  Problem was every time 
she opened her mouth tiny, squeak mice ran out of it.

These mice scuried around quoting the Bible, preaching Armageddon 
and squeaking about how the world was coming to an end.  All the 
mice were white and wanted to make more little white mice.  They 
didn't want any black mice in the same school, church or work 
place.  If these little white mice could have it their way all 
the black mice would be shipped back to Africa, smashed under 
foot, lynched from the nearest tree, dragged to pieces behind 
pickup trucks or otherwise exterminated.

Mind you Tallassee Belle was a lovely girl.  All the southern 
gentlemen wanted to get under her skirt and into her pants.  They 
would sell their souls to the devil for a glimpse of the Holy 
Land.  But having been there before I knew it was all hype, caked 
on makeup and too much eye shadow, all glitter on the outside, no 
gold nor substance of value on the inside.

I kissed Tallassee Belle and her white-mice-only-in-this-house 
nonsense goodbye.  I'm sure she is very happy somewhere with a 
house full of little white mice squeaking about how blessed they 
are to live in Alabama; how blessed to have a big, fat, white 
"George Wallace Lite" rat for governor; how blessed the Ten 
Commandments are tacked on the courthouse wall; how bleesed the 
Bill of Rights are declared mouse nest rubbish.  Tallassee Belle 
doesn't care about the biggotry of things; she's just happy her 
kids are fortunate enough to attend a private church school where 
black or yellow mice she perceives as socially degenerate are 
rarities.

Do I feel blessed?  Actually I thank God every day I didn't marry 
Tallassee Belle!


Sincerely, Terry Lynch
Montgomery, AL