SUBJECT: Republican Mythology: A True Or False Test To Determine Your Bigotry Percentile Instructions: Print out a copy of this list. Mark each item, T or F for "true" or "false" and count up the number of each answer. Then divide T by T + F and multiply by 100 to determine your Bigotry Percentile. See below for scoring. If you can't do the math don't worry, you pass with flying colors! Is it true or false that the majority of republicans: 1. Do not have a high school diploma or know how to spell potato? 2. Believe god created the world in seven days...or was it six? 3. Own at least a dozen guns and use pictures of President Clinton Attorney General Janet Reno for target practice? 4. Believe that the Bill of Rights only applies to them? 5. Worship in all white, largely segregated churches? 6. Beat their wives into submission or use insults to abuse them? 7. Believe sex is sinful and not normal human behavior except with sibling? 8. Always attack character instead of trying to constructively debate issues? 9. Believe President Clinton should be impeached for matters related to the White House sex scandal? 10. Believe that all political candidates should be Christians? 11. Are Southern Baptists or born again Christians who would kill anyone who threatens their religion? 12. Would rather have over population, starvation, poverty and world famine than abortion? 13. Can not balance their own check books, much less the government's budget? 14. Wear ties to make up for the small size of their penis? 15. Are homophobic because they are repressing their own homosexual desires? 16. See everything in terms of black and white and would like to return to the days of slavery? 17. Are anti-Semitic and have pictures of Adolph Hitler in their wallets? 18. Are members of local militia, the KKK or NRA? 19. Use Bible quotes to explain everything because their brain is the size of a pea? 20. Don't want to send their children to public schools because they are afraid of race mixing? 21. Still think AIDs is a gay disease and secretly want to exterminate all HIV positive people? 22. Wish we had concentration camps for all liberals, democrats and feminists? 23. Can correctly spell Mississippi but not Punxsutawney? 24. Think a dildo is something you use to make biscuits? 25. Keep pitbulls or Rottweilers in their back yard to scare away black people? 26. Only drink American beer because it taste like fermented urine? 27. Think Nietzsche is a type of running shoe? 28. Spank their children because they get sadistic sexual pleasure from hurting kids? 29. Think Newt Gingrich is the reincarnation of Jesus Christ? 30. Are afraid to look at themselves naked in the mirror because, well, all they see is ugliness? Scoring: Bigotry Quotient = (T/30)100 90-100 - Pure unadulterated bigot on level of Adolf Hitler or George C. Wallace. Your neck is probably as red as Georgia clay. 80-89 - Ultra right wing conservative on level of Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde. Last time you had sex was with your brother or sister. 70-79 - You are a born again Christian for sure. 60-69 - Watch out you are in need of religion. 50-59 - You flunk! Run to the right quick as you are in immediate danger of becoming a liberal! 58-0 - You are totally gone to the left. There is no hope you will ever get into an all white heaven. You probably voted for President Clinton and are having sex with a younger man or woman. You may even be gay. You probably have an IQ that goes through the roof and are in serious danger of over working your brain! Plus if you let anyone south of the Mason Dixie line know who you are you will probably get shot when you walk out the door or blown up next time you open your mail. This questionnaire is published for its entertainment and educational value only. No insults or injury is intended. The author is not liable for any misuse whatsoever of this material. Your constructive criticism and enlightened remarks will be appreciated. If you can think of a humorous item to add to this list of questions, please send it via e-mail to: Terry Lynch. For further reading or information please visit these sites: The Pyrotechnic Pen Lynch Links What Is Starr Hiding: Did Investigators Proposition Monica Lewinsky? Did Deal With Starr Include Oral Sex? Primary Human Rights Violated By Congress Republicans Just Want to Defame President Proclamation Ending Segregation Forever RAPE America: Ultra Right Wing Liberal Support Group No Guns In School Campaign Gold Ribbon Campaign: Freedom Of Press On The Internet Copyright 1998 by Terry Lynch . All rights Reserved. Usage Agreement